<< Back to main

Hi. I'm Irrational. He's Delusional. Nice to meet you!

Posted 7/4/2015 9:33am by Julie Hurst / Roy Brubaker.

Farming is hard work. Marriage is hard work. Running a small business is hard work. Doing all three together is just insane.

On good days we go about the various tasks for which we have each taken responsibility. Advising customers on how to prepare a particular cut or how to have their purchase processed. No problem. I love that part of my job. For Roy, researching and analyzing myriads of genetic data – perfect. We play to our strengths and hope to cover well enough for our weaknesses, some of which we share, like daily record keeping.

“Do you remember when that last litter of pigs was born?”

“I think it was on or around my birthday…”

“Did you get the ear tag number on that beef yesterday?”

“Are you kidding? I was just glad it loaded so easily!”

…And there are the bad days. When what seems like a normal conversation suddenly veers into familiar dark territory; that worn and rutted path that seem impossible to turn off of even though we know exactly where it ends. It escalates fast. The voices get tense. Volume goes up. In each other’s eyes we become something far from our best selves. I’m Irrational. He’s Delusional. Stomp. Curse. Walk away.

Then it is over and after a wall of silence and some space, our other selves find it is safe to return and on we go. Back to being farmers. Back to being partners. Back to being friends and lovers. It is an odd cycle and I suspect that given a little more time and maturity, that path our brains take to such a volatile place may be avoided all together. Maybe not. For now, it is what it is, familiar; a word that shares a root with family. That’s us; irrational, delusional, mostly normal, usually happy, occasionally hateful.